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Friday, September 23, 2005

EU TO IRAN: I'M TELLING MOMMY! 
After Iran walked out of nuclear arms talks with EU powerhouses France, Germany, and Britain last month, the EU decided to get serious about the nuclear threat posed by the middle eastern nation. Accordingly, the EU is likely to accede to U.S. demands to bring Iran before the Security Council of the U.N. If Iran fails to comply with demands that it discontinue any ongoing nuclear program, it will likely face severe consequences.

Among the potential consequences are a severe condemnation by the Security Council members, which would likely consist of the Iranian representative being asked to stand in a corner of the U.N. with his face against the wall for 3-5 minutes. Other options include giving Iran a nuclear reactor and uranium enrichment technology in exchange for guarantees that it will not use that technology to develop nuclear weapons. If pressed, the Security Council members may throw in missile guidance technology to finalize the deal.

Forecasters predict that Iran will continue to develop nuclear weapons until a Republican U.S. president decides to take military action against the rogue nation. Despite the existence of several U.N. resolutions requiring disarmament, and former cries for action by EU nations, the U.S. president will be roundly criticized for calling upon the use of force.

The preceding story will become completely true in the future. Stay tuned for updates.
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