Sunday, June 26, 2005

Moveon.org has put out a book called "50 Ways to Love Your Country," featuring such left-wing luminaries Al Gore, Nancy Pelosi, and "members across the country" (aka college professors, actors, and teacher's union members). Without reading the book, I will venture to guess what 10 of these loving acts would be:

10. Defect to North Korea.
9. Pull the plug on a disabled relative, who probably wouldn't want to live like "this" anyway.
8. Become a journalist, and "change" the country with your, uhh, "reporting."
7. Complain about how your upper-class parents are such, like, corporate slaves, while taking their money for tuition, books, cars, apartments, etc.
6. Become a homosexual, bisexual, transgender, transexual, beastialist, or make up something new involving inanimate objects.
5. Convert to Islam, except for the parts that are sexist, homophobic, intolerant, unpleasant, "confining," etc. On second thought, become a Wiccan (witch) instead.
4. Join a teacher's union, then complain incessantly about your career choice.
3. Make a paper mache effigy of George W. Bush, burn same, then burn flag.
2. Start a protest against war, which is, like, so wrong always. Learn Chinese.
1. Have an abortion.

Now let's get started!
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