Thursday, May 12, 2005

Was this all a conspiracy? 
Conspiracy plans revealed.

Step 1: Weaken the resistance.
Step 2: Appease the resistance and quickly hide the corpse.

Step 1: First, we'll announce that we're going to discuss the nickname issue openly and honestly. Then, after months of doing nothing but shopping for some self-appointed Native American "leaders" to give us a lecture on how their feelings are hurt, we'll say we need more time. We'll also say that no Native American imagery can be used. Goal achieved: weaken the Marquette Warrior identity.

Then, we'll formally announce "Gold" as the new choice. When the natives (no pun intended) go bananas, we'll pretend like we listened and say that students and alumni will get to vote! The resistance will be so worked up about the process, they will lose sight of the substance. It will work like a charm. We'll have effectively changed the debate from the issue of Warriors to choosing a nickname from a list of white-washed, irrelevant monikers. Through all this smokescreen, we (leftist MU administrators) got exactly what we wanted: NO WARRIOR. Furthermore, this vote nonsense really takes all the pressure off us, and in some circles (the Journal Sentinel editorial board), we will even get praised! Sheer brilliance. Goal achieved: death to the Warrior.

Undoubtedly, some alumni will acquiesce to this "vote" and believe that they were heard. They could not be more wrong. You, my friends, have been duped.
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