Tuesday, October 12, 2004

and the election shall cure your ills 
John Edwards gave a fiery speech in Iowa promising to rid the world of a few debilitating problems. Did he promise to end terrorism? Nope. Did promise to locate and kill Osama Bin Laden? Nope. Did he promise to end world hunger? Not a chance. But according to the Veep candidate, when John Kerry is President,
“We will stop juvenile diabetes, Parkinson’s, Alzheimer’s
and other debilitating diseases. When John Kerry is president, people like
Christopher Reeve are going to get up out of that wheelchair and walk
Holy crap! The Kerry-Edwards ticket is holding the secrets to curing some of the worst diseases known to man, and they aren’t sharing! It’s so inhumane to make these people suffer when you have the knowledge and the expertise to cure these diseases. Oh, wait. These guys won’t actually do anything about these problems. All they are going to do is sign legislation allowing the harvesting of stem cells from murdered babies. I’m sorry. I must have misunderstood.

Now where do these two guys get off promising to cure diseases? They aren’t scientists. They aren’t researchers. What the hell do they know about curing diseases? It seems to me that such a statement is absolutely ludicrous. Why didn’t he finish his speech with the following: “America, vote for the Kerry-Edwards ticket, and we’ll cure AIDS, all cancers, paralysis, chromosomal birth defects, and any other disease you can name. We’ll cure them all. And we’ll feed the world’s hungry with our genetically modified foods! So keep having those abortions, America. Without those stem cells from the aborted fetuses, none of this is possible. Good night. And God Bless France.” I think it would be appropriate.

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