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Sunday, February 22, 2004

The Sunday Grab Bag 
I’ve been following the situation in San Francisco for a while now. The Libertarian side of doesn’t give a rat’s ass if gays want to get married. But the Conservative side of me wants to maintain the institution of marriage. But all of me is outraged at the actions of the mayor of San Francisco and the Governor of California. The one thing that bothers me the most is how long it has taken the Governor to finally openly oppose what is going on in Sodom & Gomorrah (a.k.a. San Francisco). Also on this Sunday edition, we have a SIXTH grader suspended for bringing the Swimsuit Edition to school. We also have Shaquille O’neal acting like an ass. And the President’s dog is dead. All these stories and more on your local edition of the Sunday potpourri.

Gay Marriage in S&G

Dear Mayor of San Francisco: You are not the legislature. You are not the judiciary. You are a fucking mayor! Quit thinking you are the President and can simply take unilateral action on any issue that you want. You’re job is administrative. You are a paper-pusher. You do not make policy. In fact, you’re city is so far out of the mainstream, that it was only three (3) years ago that San Francisco passed a law finally OUTLAWING pissing and shitting on the streets. Wow! It took you “progressives” until 2001 to realize that people going to the bathroom on the street MIGHT be a health hazard. Not to mention jus downright nasty! Ok, well I realize that you think this gay marriage think is an Equal Protection issue. Thanks for your opinion. I don’t think the SUPREME COURT of the UNITED STATES has yet concurred with your opinion so how about you leave the subject alone and let them rule on it since they possess just a little more authority than you. Love, Nathan.

And Governor, where have you been? I know you said you wanted to go “clean house in Sacramento”, but how about you pull your head out of the mop bucket and go deal with an unruly mayor who is violating the law of California. You are the Governor. It is your job to deal with unruly citizens and enforce the laws of your State. And if the law in your state is that marriage is between a man and a woman, then you damn well better enforce it. Why is enforcing the law such a hard concept. And if someone breaks the law, what do you do? You arrest them. Should we have the mayor of San Francisco arrested? If you do, he becomes the first martyr for the gay cause since Matthew Shepard. If you don’t, as the Governor you look like a pushover because you have no balls to enforce the law. Sucks for you Mr. Governor. Tough spot you got yourself into.

Porn in School?

Justin Reyes, a sixth grader in Parkersburg, WV was suspended for bringing a magazine to school that violated the policy in the school handbook. Justin, you should have just left the Playboy at home. But wait! It wasn’t a Playboy? Or Hustler? It was…Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition? Un. Freaking. Believable. Are there nude women in that magazine? No. Are there wet t-shirts or see-through tops? Occasionally, but the women aren’t nude! If the kid brings a magazine to school that he could have bought himself (i.e. not porn), then why is he getting in trouble for it. Tell me, what would have happened if he would have brought some gay porn to school? Would have he been treated so harshly?

Shaq Sux?

That seems to be the mantra around Orlando, Florida. Apparently, Shaq has skipped out on numerous charity events for a group called Tampa Bay Reads. He also skipped out on a $100 per-plate dinner with Governor Jeb Bush (simply inexcusable). It seems Shaq may have to pay for his little indiscretion. Shaq has been sued by Paramount Celebrity Management for $5.6 Million dollars for skipping out on numerous events he had committed to. But come on, $5.6 million is just a drop in the bucket for Shaq. He could care less. Never really like him. Now I really don’t like him.

The President’s dog dies

Spot is dead. No more “See Spot run.” Or “Sit Spot, sit.” It’s all over. Spot was born in the Whitehouse fifteen years ago. And now Spot has died at the Whitehouse. This is kind of sad…I think I’ll just leave it alone now.

Ms. Arreola just can’t get enough of those boys!

Ms. Arreola, a 30 year-old teacher was a caught NAKED IN HER CAR with a 14 year-old student after class recently. When the cop came upon the car in a park known for prostitution and drugs, the cop noticed foggy windows and went to investigated. Sure enough, there was the oddest sight you’ve ever seen. Hey woman! That could be your son! You freaks! Why?!?!?!? Un. Freaking. Believable. What the hell is attractive about a 14 year-old boy? 14 year-old boys are skinny, acne covered, smelly, obnoxious, gross pieces of shit. Lady, you are really warped.

You’ll LOVE this!

Andre Gainey was kind of bored was he was driving around on Tuesday night in Albany, NY. He decided to pop in the movie “Chocolate Farm”. As you can imagine, this movie was slightly on the adult side. Anyway, when Andre pulled up to a stoplight, a couple of cops were next to him and noticed the “obscene material” playing on the movie screens in his headrest. Andre was arrested and charged with public display of offensive material and watching a television while driving. So the point of the story is not only are not allowed to watch porn and drive, you aren’t allowed to watch TV period and drive. Good to know.


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